Self-acceptance is an essential element of self-love. To love ourselves fully we need to understand and accept who we are. This gives us self-compassion and the ability to design our lives in alignment with our truth.

Self-acceptance does not always come easy. We are often hard on ourselves or focus on being the person we have been conditioned to be. Or more specifically, the person ‘other people’ need us to be. When we are feeding our conditioned self, we move further and further away from our authenticity. We begin to feel frustrated, overwhelmed, clouded, depressed and lack the confidence and courage to go after what we want.

With self-acceptance, we stop resisting situations. We stop judging ourselves or wishing we were different. We stop dreaming of how our lives could be and accept that where we are is exactly where we are meant to be. Acceptance helps us feel greater levels of inner peace and grounds us into the here and now.

So here are three quick and easy ways to cultivate greater levels of self-acceptance:

1. What do I want?

Asking yourself this question activates an awareness of your core values that represent what matters most to you. This question helps you identify your truth- what you need to thrive and feel happy, fulfilled and successful.

Bringing your attention to your own needs is by no means selfish or self-indulgent. It is a way of demonstrating that you are capable of taking 100% responsibility for your wellbeing. You are not responsible for other people – only yourself.

When you accept your values as your truth, you can then make the necessary adjustments to align your daily habits and goals with your needs. This, in turn, will increase levels of confidence and empowerment.

2. What are your virtues?

This self-coaching question asks you to elicit your innate character strengths. These are your own personal resources for managing your needs and your challenges. Whereas your values help you identify what matters most to you and how you ideally want to feel, your virtues represent who you are ‘being’. They are your greatest assets and qualities you may have taken for granted because they come so naturally to you.  Here are a few examples of virtues:

3. How do I uniquely contribute to the world?

This question helps you explore how you want to make others feel and what impact you make on the world around you. Ultimately, this question connects you to your purpose. When you are accepting of your purpose, you embrace the value you bring to the world. This question helps you replace feelings of confusion, self-doubt or inadequacy with feelings of self-worth. Such awareness enables you to actualise your full potential in every moment. This means that you do not submit to fear or give away your power. You do not surrender to behaviours such as defensiveness, righteousness or pride. It means you ignite your purpose in every moment and allow your purpose to challenge and empower you.

For example, next time someone criticises you or treats you badly, try and break your habitual reactions. These may include taking what they said personally, withdrawing or being aggressive. Instead, imagine being a virtue such as Compassion. Imagine how being compassionate shifts the way you respond to the other person. How do you help them by being compassionate?  Notice how you feel more empowered and in control.

These self-coaching questions help you connect with your core self and your truth- your authenticity. They will help you break dis-empowering patterns such as people-pleasing, perfectionism or procrastination and assist you in accepting your own uniqueness and magnificence.

Dr Seuss said it best, “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”