As a self-empowerment coach, I am always looking for ways to help you save your energy so you can stay empowered with vitality and enthusiasm for life. Part of this process is locating the energy drainers in your life which are zapping you of your vital life force.

Imagine having a stack of APPS on your phone which you do not use, draining the life of your battery. Deleting these useless APPS allows your phone to work with greater speed and functionality.

Now imagine doing the same process of deletion with certain wearisome behaviors.

One such behavior I have been focusing on eliminating is defensiveness.

How much energy is exhausted in defending yourself? How much energy is wasted on trying to be right or proving your point? Justifying, apologizing, explaining, blaming, defending, proving and persuading are all massive ways to drain your energy. These all form rigid ways of thinking and prevent you from being malleable, resilient and in the now.

Learning how to give these up allows you to cultivate, conserve and control your energy in empowering ways. When you focus on DEFENSELESSNESS you relinquish the need to defend yourself and instantly begin to conserve valuable fuel. Not only will you uplift your energy, you will also strengthen the quality of your relationships.

Now, I hear your cry…giving up defending yourself is not an easy task. Defending yourself is a knee-jerk protective mechanism. And defending yourself is a super important goal of the Ego because the Ego ALWAYS has to be right.

But what if we gave that up! And to make the Ego happy, what if we were completely happy to let other people be wrong 😉 without needing to argue or force our perspective onto them?

What if we were masters at silently smiling within. Noting that a person’s point of view comes from their own map of reality and that our view can be completely different; and that is OK. What if there was no longer anything to prove and you could be OK with letting others lavish in their wrongness?

Not only will you avoid hurtful and draining confrontations, you will also begin to conserve more energy to put towards positive areas of your life. Instead of depressing your energy you can focus on what inspires your energy.

Give this a go for at least 24 hours (It may not be easy but it will be rewarding):

Every time you begin to defend yourself or catch yourself justifying, explaining or proving your point stop what you are saying and let the argument go. Suspend the Ego’s agenda and need to be right. This is not a sign of letting the other person win or being weak or cowardly, as being defenselessness is one of the bravest acts you can display.

Compassion requires courage as well as the ability to relinquish your need to be right or prove your worth.

As you embrace defenselessness you will begin to notice a reserve of energy you can now tap into. You will begin to feel less threatened and more focused on the present moment. You will eliminate arguments and conflicts and have far more peaceful and pleasant relationships.

Remember…Where your focus goes your energy flows!

I look forward to hearing how you go.

To your truth and freedom with lots of love,

Cheryne x