Meditation really did save my life!

As a sensitive child I was quite emotional and reactionary to trauma, drama and stress in my life. I remember the tantrums and eruptions of my emotions and feeling out of control.

I remember as a young child arguing with my Mum and like a great drama queen, pretending to run away from home. I remember going to sit in our neighbor’s garden (which was across the road from my house) and waiting to see if they would come and get me. After about ten minutes or what felt like days, I would go back home, defeated, embarrassed and exhausted.

I remember shutting down as I got older because of bullying and teasing and I remember a deep, dark and sad part of myself existing.

Those hard years into my teens will always be what I remember to be my darkest, lowest moments, where depression was as deep-set as a winter storm. I was so lost within myself and lost in life. My depressed mind ruled my existence, tinged my perceptions and caused an inner anxiety which I had to work very hard to mask.

When I was 19 I was introduced to Deepak Chopra and studied psychology at university. I was being opened up to a new way of being and a new way of thinking and in my very early twenties I was lucky enough to learn reiki and meditation.

In reality when I first started I found it really difficult, frustrating, boring and uncomfortable. I didn’t think I could ever be still and without speech for that long.  I had to fight hard to let go of my mind and my thoughts and I had to learn how to disengage from my emotions.

And as I persisted, things started to change and I started to have gaps of nothingness and moments of silence. My mind began to adapt and enjoy the calmness and the peace. And as I began to bring my focus to those moments, I began to discover a very graceful, yet powerful part of myself…and this is where the magic happened.

I connected with a warm inner glow, an energy which felt like I had just come home. In this warmth was an inner knowing and an inner wisdom which spoke higher than my depression. This space felt expansive and free and for the first time I could feel who I really was and what I needed for myself.

In this space, I began to hear an inner voice, inner guidance leading me to a higher awareness. And so… I began to let go of the outer shell and the outer illusion which was clouding my clarity and began to focus in on what I now understand to be my higher self, my soul.

Here are the greatest lessons I have learned through my journey with meditation:

Through meditation I learned to be less reactive and more reflective. I can step back and observe situations without my emotions mindlessly taking over.

I learned to step off the treadmill of stress and business and get still and I learned to respect and appreciate the stillness.

I learned that there are two sides to my self- my higher self and my lower self, and that they can actually work in harmony rather than in conflict with each other.

I learned that everything around me is made up of energy

I learned that my reactions were my fear and ego

I learned that by being calm I can see situations from a clear perspective

I learned to be quiet and observe

I learned how to go within myself and connect with my feelings rather than distract myself to avoid the pain

I learned that my breath could regulate my nerves, so I didn’t need alcohol, drugs or someone to be there for me

I learned I can control and choose my thoughts

I learned I can get calm and grounded and be patient and in the flow

I learned there is safety in the calmness

I learned what was in my heart and my truth

I learned the power of stillness and how it can elevate my energy

I increased my impulse control

I slowed done my thoughts and energy which meant being less hyper active and more present

I learned to embrace the now

I learned to let go of control I learned to let go of the past and forgive

I learned to recognize self-pity and let go of it

I learned to accept myself

I learned to belief in myself and have courage to push through the barrier of fear

I learned to see the world through the eyes of love

I learned to stop the cycle of negative thinking

I learned to detach myself from the emotions of others

I learned to notice the projections of others

I learned to take the time for myself for self care

I learned that nobody can change me, only I can do that

I learned that pain, drama and emotions pass, just like a storm, nothing stands still

I learned to step into the eye of the storm and hold onto that place of center within myself

I learned to take things less personally and be more compassionate and open to others

I learned to be less defensive and take responsibility

I learned to actively listen

I learned most importantly that when the darkness of depression or the restlessness of anxiety kick in that all I need to do is breathe, connect to the light inside me and as I do that, my inner essence cuts through the layers and the illusion of my ego mind and I can see the world from my higher awareness.

How did Meditation save me? It saved me from my own thoughts where I realized I could fall down the rabbit hole of negativity and ego or I could elevate myself to a place of wise perspective. I realized that true happiness lived in the simple quiet moments or gaps that exist between my thoughts and I learned that the quality of my happiness is determined by the quality of my thoughts!

I have taken all the tools and steps I taught myself and created a simple structure for meditation which will help you get connected, get calm, get clear and get confident.
Check out Peace in My Pocket Meditation Podcast  to follow these easy meditations and begin your own journey from ego to self love.

My wish for you and my intention with these meditations is to help others develop this place of clarity and certainty within so that we can all begin to discover inner peace.

The greater the level of peace within us, the greater the level of peace around us.

Enjoy!