People ask me all the time…how do you move on from painful situations you have been through?

How do you let go and live in the now?

If we do not let go of the past we are bringing all our unfinished business into the present moment and not only does it block us from moving forwards but it keeps us stuck in the past, which means we do not experience the personal growth we are predestined to achieve.

You know you are living in the past when you have a repetitive story running in your head and you cannot move on from certain emotions such as anger, sadness or frustration. You know you are living in the past if you feel depressed and too fearful to take steps towards your future.

And you know you are stuck in the past when you cannot forgive and let go!

Moving on from your past allows you to embrace the power of today and what is present in your life right now. It allows you to grow and evolve and mature into a grounded, adult filled with wisdom.

So here are ,my top 5 ways to move on from the past and live in the now?

See the situation from a new perspective

This is like changing the lens on a camera and seeing the situation with fresh eyes and a new point of view. When stuff happens to us we are limited to perceive it by the meaning we attach to the situation at a given point in time. And this perception defines our decisions and attitudes.

And therefore, when we change our perception and view a person or situation from a different angle, our whole reality shifts.

Change your inner narrative or inner story

Once we change our perception we can change the inner dialogue or the inner story inside our head. This means reframing your current meaning into a new narrative which empowers you and leads to an inner feeling of peace and resolution as opposed to conflict.

The inner narrative we have playing within our minds determines our reality and is constantly programming our emotions, so get clear and create an empowering tale.

Acceptance will set you free

The more we try to change a person or a situation the more intense our inner struggle gets. By not accepting, we maintain expectations which if unmet will continue to cause disappointment, bitterness and resentment. By accepting a person and a situation and in turn being grateful for the lessons or growth they bring, helps you drop expectations and turn those into acceptance.

Challenge your internal beliefs which are keeping you stuck. If for example, you have an inner belief that states, “I need to be taken care of by a man,” and a man keeps on letting you down, think about changing your inner belief.

This would mean that a healthy new belief, such as, “I am independent and take responsibility for myself. I do not need a man, but want a man to have an equal relationship with,” would change your inner emotions and would leave you feeling more empowered, instead of angry.

Think about the beliefs you are holding onto which are causing anger…what can you turn those into?

Focus on what is present in the here and now

The past is behind us and the more we focus on it, the more we bring it into the present and the more we stay stuck. Holding onto the past and repeating the same inner story manifests the same emotions within us, and therefore we can get locked in anger, depression, grief, sadness, frustration, and anxiety, all because emotionally and energetically we are living in the past.

By learning from the past, embracing the lessons and moving on helps you live in a state of mindfulness and in the power of now.

Focus on the lessons you have gained from the past and how that helped you become the person you are now and move into gratitude rather than resentment.

Define your values for right now. What is important to you right now and what matters most?

For example, if one of your current values is peace, then you have to ask yourself if focusing on or replaying the past is disturbing your peace or creating your peace.

To create the value of peace in your life you must move away from thoughts or behaviors which disturb your peace and foster thoughts which move you towards peace.

By focusing on a positive value, such as peace, you will help yourself move towards your desired future and let go of the story and the beliefs about the past.

Letting go, forgiving and moving on can be extremely challenging. And as you embrace this challenge you will discover new layers of yourself and deeper dimensions and insights which will ultimately lead to greater levels of happiness. So challenge yourself to cut the cord with your past and live freely and peacefully in the now.